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‘I want to wear red lacey knickers, a tight PVC maids uniform, thigh high boots and a leather hood! ‘No problem – just bring that all with you to the booking? At the end of the appointment (rather than at the beginning) they would try to tell me god has bigger plans for me, even though I was quite happy with his original strategy – that I take money from stupid men who want me to ride them like a racehorse.